The Secret Lives of Ants

We've all seen ant farms; however, like Khan, they betray a bit of two-dimensional thinking. Eager for a better look at a real colony, a group of scientists scrounged together 10 tons (!) of cement and poured it into a leaf-cutter ant colony.

The results are, in a word, breathtaking. The complexity of the resulting structure, as well as its obvious logic and seeming design, must be seen to be believed. Yes, it looks like they buried a living colony in cement, but it's hard to be upset once the colony is unearthed.

Enthusiasm Beyond Reason

Linked below is a feat that is American down to its core.

Dedication to a seemingly impossible task; refusal to accept defeat; willingness to experience utter humiliation in pursuit of a dream.

Oh – and it's totally, completely pointless. Ridiculous, in fact. Done only because maybe it can be. Not for any benefit to mankind or personal gain. The mountain is climbed because it is there.

O beautiful, for spacious skies...

Primer: Where The Money Went

I don't know many financial pros (Hi Sahra!), but I do know my fair share of smart people. And the only consensus I've seen among them is that the financial mess the United States finds itself in is really hard to figure out. I guess that once you have billions of dollars being traded daily, a government policy designed to obfuscate and enable, and greedy people and corporations who don't care about consequences, chaos sets in really fast.

So it's nice to find a few easily-digestible breakdowns of what exactly went wrong. Most recently, Daily Kos published an organized, succinct, and funny explanation:

Wait a second. Swaps are unregulated. No one says I have to have enough resources to cover the swap, and even better, no one says I have to offer the swap to the person who actually made the loan! Hey buddy, see that loan over there? You may think it's iffy, but I think it'll hold up. In fact, I'm so sure it will, I'll sell you a credit default swap on it that pays off if it fails. You don't make the loan, you don't have to pay off on the loan, you don't have anything to do with the loan. You just pay me the fee. And if that guy loses his money, you collect. How sweet is that!

…At this point, credit default swaps have become completely divorced from the original function. A single loan can be covered by multiple swaps. There's a complicated fiscal term for this. It's called gambling, and at this stage, that's all that remains of those little "insurance" policies. They no longer protect anyone from anything, they just offer a chance to place enormous overlapping side bets on everything.

For the record, the article is overly partisan, and overlooks the role of many Democrats who enabled this mess, but fairly targets the total failure of deruglation, and the role it played in getting us into this mess.

This American Life and Ira Glass have visited this well himself; first in May, he devoted the entirety of episode 355, "The Giant Pool of Money" to the initial mortgage collapse, and again with a follow up a few weeks ago called, appropriately, "Another Frightening Show About the Economy," which is exactly what it sounds like.

I've listened to each program twice, and they're both incredible illuminating. Highly recommended.

Yes, This Is Real

Actually, you know what?

I don't want to link to this.

Everyone's (least) favorite plumber Joe has launched a website. And I'd be laughing my way across the floor if it wasn't so scary and sad.

See, apparently "we are all Joe." Awesome. I'm a tax-evading self-promoting schmuck who, along with Sarah Palin, believes strong opinions and under-education (plus a solid need for celebrity) qualify me for public service and national power.

There was a lot of noise about that fact that Joe isn't Joe – he's Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher. I am in no position to rag on the man for going by his middle name (we even share first names), and have to say that that criticism is unfair. But if that's how you like to be called, then man up and stick to it; don't credit yourself as "Samuel J. Wurzelbacher" on your book "Fighting For The American Dream," just to make yourself sound like one of those educated media elites you hate so much.

Hmm. On second thought, don't title your book that, either.

Those of you hungerin' for more Joe, head on over to "secureourdream.com" (really). It's exactly what you'd expect it to be, wrapped up in some excellent circa-1997 HTML. I can't say I recommend it, and he shouldn't get the clicks, but some of us (myself included) are gluttons for punishment.

Anyone have a fifteen minute timer?

Digital Terror

A little late for Halloween, but follow the link for a taste of the horror every computer-user lives in fear of.

Backup, people! Backup!

A Bunch of Rocks

As close to poetry as I imagine stick-figure comics can get.

Smokey Days

I was doing some exercises in the living room yesterday, and thought to myself Hey, did I leave a burner on?

Only to realize, a moment later, I hadn't cooked anything all day.

Wildfire season had been doing its thing in Southern California, but the direct L.A. area had been spared – until this weekend.

Orange county is burning. Sylmar, in the northern Valley (only a few miles from where I work and many of my friends live) is quickly turning into ash. Oprah, Rob Lowe, and Christopher Lloyd all have homes in the danger zone.

But we're safe in West Hollywood. I guess being in the middle (or closest thing) of the L.A. metropolitan region has some benefits. When the wildfires rage, we all smell the sticky, hazy odor of burning homes and buildings, cars get a little ashy, our temples may pound from the god-knows-what we end up inhaling, and the sunsets turn scarily-beautiful red, while lasting twice as long as normal. We don't lose homes or life, just oxygen and sleep.

So yesterday, as I walked the neighborhood doing shopping, smelling the burnt California in the air around me, I felt thankful that amidst the personal tragedies these fires bring, where on literally all sides the country is burning, where peoples' lives are falling apart less than 20 miles away, ravaged by a force of nature that has utterly destroyed so many cities in the past, my biggest concern was the odor in my nostrils, and the overpriced chicken at Whole Foods.

As Jamie points out (with a fantastic picture of the fires, I might add – where'd you get that, Jamie?), we don't fight fires that much smarter than we did 100 years ago. Bigger tanks, airborne deployment, and occasional chemical aid pretty much round out the tactical advances. Wildfires still rage, and people braver than I run up to the edge of them with as much H₂O as they can deliver. What worked for the Athenians works for us.

But we've gotten damn good at insulating ourselves from the hot stuff.

Did I leave the stove on?

Charcoal & Honey

This one goes out to my mom and dad, who keep bees back home.

Find out why outdoor grills and bees may not be the best combination, in a story both tragic and amazing...

Wow!

Toast Is In The Air

Yesterday, I read about a toaster that will brand handwritten messages onto your toast (yes, one commenter did refer to these as "Toast-It Notes"). Today, Kevin sent me an e-mail featuring the ultra-cool (and -geeky) Darth Vader toaster. Add in the "Toaster toaster" from July (heh heh), and toasting seems to be weirdly chic.

To round it out, here's a list of novel toasters from September, featuring several out-there designs. Apparently, a lot of work is being done in the "custom-image-on-your-toast" market; it certainly seems smarter than the "combine-exposed-electric-elements-with-water-for-toast-teapot-combo" market.

East vs West

I've got as good a geographical sense as the next guy, but Randall Munroe over at xkcd has a damn good point.

It goes to show, sometimes obvious reasons aren't so obvious from another point of view. Just like Obi-Wan Kenobi told us 25 years ago.

Ri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ight

Coming to you straight from the planet Htrae, conservative blogger John Hinderacker has some very important advice for President-Elect Barack Obama, culled from the positive examples of our current lame-duck President:

Obama thinks he is a good talker, but he is often undisciplined when he speaks. He needs to understand that as President, his words will be scrutinized and will have impact whether he intends it or not. In this regard, President Bush is an excellent model; Obama should take a lesson from his example. Bush never gets sloppy when he is speaking publicly. He chooses his words with care and precision, which is why his style sometimes seems halting. In the eight years he has been President, it is remarkable how few gaffes or verbal blunders he has committed. If Obama doesn't raise his standards, he will exceed Bush's total before he is inaugurated.

My response is best described by an uncommon typographic symbol: the interrobang.

Birmingham-Southern College hosts an image of the exact thoughts I had while reading this.

History Is Made, And For The Better

One Giant Leap, indeed.

Check out the Newseum for more front pages; a lot of great images from a very slow (overloaded?) website.

More from me later, I promise.

[Note: that link takes you to the "Today" page, as there is no permalink. I suspect this link here may work in the future, even though it isn't functional now. Update to follow whenever that link goes live.]